Cocktails 2 oz vodka
1 oz triple sec
2 oz margarita mix
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp lemon juice
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"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
What did the egg say to the
boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got
laid a minute
ago."
An accountant visited the Natural History
museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor:
"This
dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did
you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and
the guide told me that the dinosaur is
two billion years old."
An understanding heart is everything in a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw materia Carl Jung
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers. Charles W. Eliot
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. Flannery O'Connor