Punches 1 oz Bacardi® orange rum
1 1/2 oz DeKuyper® Watermelon Pucker schnapps
1 oz Cruzan® orange rum
6 oz Gatorade® Fierce Melon energy drink
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The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."
"Careful with fire" is good advice we know.
"Careful with words" is ten times doubly so. William Carleton
"Do what thou wilt" shall be the whole of the law. Aleister Crowley
"Do you know what a pessimist is?" "A man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it." George Bernard Shaw