Cocktails 120 ml vodka
20 ml gin
60 ml Champagne
50 ml soda water
25 ml orange juice (with pulp)
20 ml lemon juice
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The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
What's the speed limit of
sex?
68; at 69 you have to turn around.
What did the egg say to the
boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got
laid a minute
ago."
A cold needs the cook as much as the doctor. Scottish Proverb
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. Ogden Nash
A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself. Louis L'Amour