Cocktails 25 ml raspberry vodka
12.5 ml Passoa® liqueur
12.5 ml Plymouth® gin
50 ml cranberry juice
3 kumquats
1 dash gomme syrup
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Three cowboys
were hanging out in the
bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex,"
said the first. "He's going to
start bragging about that new foreign car
he bought as soon as he
gets back."
"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always
be just a good
ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say
is hello."
"I know Tex better than either of you," said the
third. "He's so
smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he
comes now." Tex swung
open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi,
partners!"
Tech Support: "How may I help you today, sir?"
Customer: "Hello...hey, er...I think I've got the wrong software
installed in my computer."
Tech Support: "Why is that, sir?"
Customer: "I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded
with software called the 'XYZ Desktop'."
Tech Support:
"Yes...?"
Customer: "Shouldn't it be called the 'XYZ Minitower'? I
OBVIOUSLY
have the wrong software installed in this computer."
An auditor was examining the balance sheet
of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the
Pilbara
area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was
partly for
the thousands of acres that the station covered and partly
for the
thousands of sheep that ranged over those thousands of
acres. The auditor,
being very diligent, noted that the value of the
sheep formed a
significant asset and, like all good auditors, knew
that he would have to
verify that asset. He chartered an aircraft and
flew up to the station. The
manager was at the airstrip to meet
him.
"Hello," he said. "I'm the auditor. I've come to count the
sheep."
"Know thyself," said the old philosopher, "improve thyself," saith the new. Our great object in time is not to waste our passions and gifts on the things external that we must leave behind, but that we cultivate within us all that we can carry into the et Edward Bulwer-Lytton
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands e e cummings
. . . .When I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer - say traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep - it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best, and most abundantly. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart