Cocktails 4 oz Chardonnay white wine
2 oz banana liqueur
1 oz Absolut® vodka
1 cherry
Start
people
pronouns
other
hello
school
Subcategories::
Three cowboys
were hanging out in the
bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex,"
said the first. "He's going to
start bragging about that new foreign car
he bought as soon as he
gets back."
"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always
be just a good
ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say
is hello."
"I know Tex better than either of you," said the
third. "He's so
smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he
comes now." Tex swung
open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi,
partners!"
Tech Support: "How may I help you today, sir?"
Customer: "Hello...hey, er...I think I've got the wrong software
installed in my computer."
Tech Support: "Why is that, sir?"
Customer: "I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded
with software called the 'XYZ Desktop'."
Tech Support:
"Yes...?"
Customer: "Shouldn't it be called the 'XYZ Minitower'? I
OBVIOUSLY
have the wrong software installed in this computer."
An auditor was examining the balance sheet
of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the
Pilbara
area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was
partly for
the thousands of acres that the station covered and partly
for the
thousands of sheep that ranged over those thousands of
acres. The auditor,
being very diligent, noted that the value of the
sheep formed a
significant asset and, like all good auditors, knew
that he would have to
verify that asset. He chartered an aircraft and
flew up to the station. The
manager was at the airstrip to meet
him.
"Hello," he said. "I'm the auditor. I've come to count the
sheep."
An understanding heart is everything in a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw materia Carl Jung
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers. Charles W. Eliot
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. Flannery O'Connor