Cocktails 4 oz peach vodka
2 oz pineapple juice
2 oz orange juice
1 oz fresh lemon juice
2 oz 7-Up® soda
2 tsp sugar
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A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."
Can you repeat the part after "Listen
very
carefully"?
An accountant visited the Natural History
museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor:
"This
dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did
you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and
the guide told me that the dinosaur is
two billion years old."
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
"Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice." Terry Pratchett
...in order that a man may be happy, it is necessary that he should not only be capable of his work, but a good judge of his work. John Ruskin
...probably the greatest concentration of talent and genius in this house except for perhaps those times when Thomas Jefferson ate alone. John F. Kennedy