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What is uglier than an aardvark?
Two
aardvarks!
An accountant visited the Natural History
museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor:
"This
dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did
you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and
the guide told me that the dinosaur is
two billion years old."
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed
robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the
tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up
against
a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is
going on accountant number one jams something in
accountant number
two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two
whispers, "What
is this?" to which accountant number one replies,
"it's that $50 I
owe you."
...the safest course is to do nothing against one's conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life and have no fear from death. Voltaire
[M]aybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn't perfection but progress. Michelle Burford
A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project. Abigail Van Buren